Wednesday, September 5, 2012

the best thing that ever happened to me.

little miss lydia jane is here. she's 2 weeks old today and i really can't believe that.

here she is 1 day old in the hospital.
she was born wednesday, august 22nd at about 3 pm. she weighed 6 lbs 13 oz and she's the most beautiful little baby in the world.
on thursday, august 16th i went in to my obgyn for my 39 week appointment. i had extremely high blood pressure at 140/100 and protein in my urine (which is apparently really bad). i had also gained 3 lbs in one week, which is also bad and may be a sign of pre-eclampsia. they sent me straight to the hospital for monitoring throughout the day. if my blood pressure remained that high they would have induced me that day. it thankfully went back down a bit so my midwife felt comfortable letting me go home. i had been having issues with blood pressure throughout the second half of my pregnancy, so we decided i would have the weekend to let her get a little bit more ready for life outside, then we would induce labor monday night.
we went to the hospital monday evening around 7 pm. they started me on cervidil at about 8 pm. i was only 1 cm dilated and 50% effaced, so they needed to soften my cervix before they could start me on pitocin. i had the cervidil in for 12 hours and it was removed the next morning to start pitocin. i started contracting on my own before pitocin was started, so i was optimistic about the day. throughout the day though i was maxed out on pitocin and my contractions were 2-4 minutes apart, but they weren't intense enough to bring miss lydia out. they were pretty wimpy and i knew it. i was able to talk and laugh with my family all day without any issues, so i had a bad feeling she wasn't coming that day.
by 4 pm they stopped the pitocin so i could eat and shower. i wasn't allowed to eat anything while in "labor" so i was actually relieved when they stopped everything. the frustrating part was that even if it wasn't intense, i had been in labor all day and when they checked me i was only 2 cm and 70%. even so, it was nice to stop everything and get a break and prepare for the next, most horrible of experiences.
that evening my midwife told me they could do another round of cervidil (which i didn't think would do much so i didn't love that option) or we could use some sort of foley catheter bulb to manually dilate me. she thought that was the best option, so i agreed. this was a mistake. well, in the end it worked and helped me deliver my little girl, but oh. my. gosh. was it horrible. basically they stuck a tube through my cervix, then they inflate it with a solution to artificially dilate me. it wouldn't have been so bad except that my cervix is so high and far back that i thought she was going to push the baby up through my face. it was completely terrible. i had to leave it in all night and it was horribly uncomfortable and kind of painful. not to mention awkward because there were tubes coming out and taped to my leg. it was quite an experience.
by morning i got a new midwife. michael. i was surprised at seeing a male midwife, but all i wanted was for him to take the terrible tubes out. when he did that and checked me, i was 6 cm dilated. the only problem is that since it was done manually, there was no guarantee my body would respond with real contractions, even on pitocin. michael decided to break my water in order to help the process, then pitocin was started. that's where it all started to progress super fast.
this all happened about 10 am i think. the nurse started me on pitocin and i started feeling contractions. like, real ones. legit make you want to punch people in the face for asking you questions kind of contractions. i knew these were the real deal. they were no joke. i had planned on having an epidural, so when the nurse told me she wanted me to have a "few" regular contractions before calling for the epidural i was a little annoyed. i was particularly annoyed after a "few" turned into a lot and instead of calling for my epidural, the nurse was emptying the trash cans in my room..... um, no. i am told at this point i became kind of a handful. i don't remember much except the pain. apparently i asked the nurse how much longer it would be and she said she was just about to call until my husband asked her a question, which i have been told earned him a death glare from me. i don't recall this, but i totally believe it.
after the epidural things got a little fuzzy for me. and everything happened so fast. suddenly i was given a mask for oxygen because the baby was in distress. every time i had a contraction her heart rate would get messed up. i don't really fully understand what was happening because i was sort of in a fog. the nurse was telling my family about the problem instead of telling me. i was confused and in pain and i felt like the mask was kind of a barrier. i know it was necessary, but it didn't allow me to ask any questions or try to figure out what was going on.
the nurse started preparing for a c section. she was trying to take blood, calling people and basically running around kind of panicked. then whenever i had a contraction she was glued to the monitor, worrying about the baby. my family all came around to pray that lydia would come out on her own and that we wouldn't need a c section. it was a scary few minutes, and i didn't fully realize how scary. i didn't really care what had to happen though, i just wanted her safe. i was feeling so much fear for her, then suddenly i was in so much pain. i was feeling enormous pressure and pain, and when they checked they realized lydia had come down on her own, i was fully dilated, and i was just about ready to push. they gave her a little more time to see if she'd come down any more on her own so i wouldn't have to push as long.
michael came back to deliver her and i swear i love that man. i barely had a chance to talk to him or get to know him at all, but i love him for taking such good care of us. i pushed for about 35 minutes or so, and then she was out!
i really can't describe that first moment when i knew she was here in the world. i suddenly just burst into tears because i was so happy and relieved. he set her on my stomach for a minute and she was still kind of yucky and she was a grey-green kind of color, but she was the most beautiful thing i had ever seen. she was wiggling around and i immediately loved her.
i needed a lot of stitches and she needed to be cleaned and looked at. apparently when she came out the cord was wrapped around her neck twice. i didn't know that until much later and it makes me cry just thinking about it. phil said they told him that was probably the reason for her distress, but everything was perfect and her apgar score was a 9. the nurse said she was shocked at how quickly things turned around and she was sure i would be having a c section. i know it was because i had so many people praying for me and the Lord was looking out for me and baby Lydia.    
the induction was such a long process. i am still not sure if it was the best decision or not. phil thinks it was because if we would have waited longer to go into labor naturally, the cord situation could have gotten even worse. that's what the people at the hospital told him anyway. in the end our beautiful, perfect baby girl was born so i really can't say it was the wrong decision. it was just a very trying and difficult process that maybe could have been avoided if my blood pressure hadn't been so crazy. either way, labor is hard so i'm not sure we'll ever know if there was a "best option". i just thank God for this crazy little munchkin he put in our lives.


she is the best thing that has ever happened in my life. i'm so excited to watch her grow and find out the person she is going to become. she truly is a little miracle baby that God has put in our lives and i'm so blessed and thankful that i get to be her mom.